In Kringle Family Goodness Tradition

by Bill Alley, Broadcast Host, Wordsmith and Beard Advocate

It’s been almost 17 months since Beardsley And Company joined up with about a thousand Santas for the Kringle Family Reunion in Branson, Missouri. I miss these guys. Sure, they were in recruit mode when we were running around gathering stories, holding their first ever Beard Contest, and celebrating on the streets of Branson on parade in 100 degree (38C) heat. And one important prerequisite for dong Santa is dealing with heat as equally (or more so) than cold. Got that one beat.

One of the first stories that resonated about these jolly guys is the spirit of family. Kids understand quite a bit about Santa... but we adults can mess up the stories. They tell of their brotherhood, a union of like-minded men who have built their lives and reputation on charity, listening, kindness... and some fun along the way.

Their reunion is all about educating themselves as much as family time. The world is changing, and the rules of engagement between Santas and kids, parents and others is also in flux. One of the greatest challenges they’ve had this year is the polarization of political views that has tried to divide a nation—and at times, that divide has been bloody. Santa has a responsibility to remind the world that its future rests on the children, and it’s why they work painstakingly with kids, their families, friends... and at times with law enforcement and social service agencies, schools and houses of worship.

When today’s Santa must be jolly old elf, wish keeper and healer of broken hearts and bodies, the ability of these guys to keep cheer in the heart while being as adept as a social worker or psychologist is no easy task. They do it willingly, without the degree or the salaries others who do such have, for the sake of love, charity and hope.

Santas have stories, plenty of events that bring laughter, tears and wild adventures... no sleigh or reindeer flights required in their tales of those they met and helped. Their collective effort gives all year long, raising funds for a wide variety of charities for children, families and communities that are facing tough challenges. In Texas, that means hundreds of thousands remaining displaced by Hurricane Harvey. In California, it includes even more displaced people who ran for their lives to escape devastating loss from the fires over the summer. In hospitals, Santas take on disease of children with a determination to make that child’s moment—and those around them—as special as a Christmas miracle.

The spirit of Saint Nicholas—herald of the gift of giving—is the essence of the Kringle lineage. Though most are not born into this noble name, the adoption by brotherhood has been every bit as good and just in accomplishing a standard and a change in the world just when it needs reminding that every tragedy and tear is a moment away from a white bearded man, ready to lend himself, to turn the saddest of moments into the fondest of memories.

As for me, I’ll be taking some time to continue the Santa Stories on our Internet radio station as we keep making memorable moments with these whiskered wonders.

Shape Up or Shag Out

by Bill Alley, Broadcast Host, Wordsmith and Beard Advocate

There are two questions when growing and maintaining a beard: how long do I go... and how much will I need to maintain. Depending on circumstances in your life right now, one question may be a louder persuasion.

Let’s say you need to shape up. You got the Movember look going and it’s growing on you. Or you’ve been a dedicated bearder for quite awhile and something is coming up that may require a little tidying. If you’re a novice or experienced at working the whiskers, you may have a tug of war going on. Whiskers truly do grow on you, and others... and making a change can be shocking to you, your loved ones... even your co-workers and friends. To give yourself the closest goof-proof trim that will enhance your features, here’s three things I found to be essentials.

First, if you or a professional are the trimmer, always remember: cut less, shape more. Going from a full head of thick hair to a buzz-cut is about as drastic as one can get with committing hairy-carry; you lose the hairy you’ll carry that look and the comments that go with it. Some guys don’t care if the shock value created gets underhanded remarks; but those of you who are appearance-conscious, this could be a moment where you experience depression—as if you maimed your best friend. Let your trim happen only after you’ve washed and dried your whiskers and lubricated them with an oil or conditioner, lightly. A good brush with wider spikes instead of tight bristles when combed from side to side in small left and right motions will lift the under-hairs of your face, revealing true beard density. Your cut at this point will allow you to shape truly with the density and features of your face while reducing cutting errors.

Second, should you love the shaggy look and it needs a bit of control, give those whiskers a wash, followed by a conditioner or oil, but use enough product to get the hairs penetrated evenly. Shaggy hair will need more coaxing to separate; it’s only then when you’ll get an idea what shape they’ve taken and what look you can create with a shorter or more uniform look. You too will need that spiked hair brush, getting that left-to-right shake going on throughout your face, to see your real bearded moment. Grooming can take care of what many guys need with a ‘tuck and roll’, or a brush stroke that heads up the face and flips the hair back downward, literally folding hair into the face. Even with moderate beard density you’ll get thicker results without a snip, and if you want, going back to your usual shag look just takes a quick rinse and dry.

Third, finally, is the makeover that has a requirement—where you may have to do significant cutting and styling for a whole new appearance. It is possible to accomplish without feeling helpless about what needs doing, though the longer the beard, the harder it is to do ‘short’. I would suggest having a professional assist; let them know what you require, and have them trim in complete sections so as to help you adjust to the look and outcome. If you have whiskers longer than your neck and need to get the new appearance taken to a few inches, trying accents to keep hair density on the moustache, goatee and cheek-line can be done tastefully, even artfully, which lets anyone know you may have a short beard, but it’s no flyweight: it can grow back with strength.

If the demand is there to remove or leave stubble, contact me. I have a number of resources for you that can help fight beard discrimination successfully.

The Wild and Woolly World Series: LA Dodgers and Houston Astros by the Whiskers
by Bill Alley, Broadcast Host, Wordsmith and Beard Advocate

Being a former Red Sox follower and fan, this year’s World Series was a bit like 2013 all over again, except both teams came prepped to show the world baseball expertise and beard savvy.  Here’s how the season went down in the record books for both competitors as they made 2017 the equivalent of a swinging beard shindig.

Los Angeles Dodgers fans never, ever give up. Loyalty to this club is remarkable. Of course, they have clicked with their fans by being ‘real’... and in the whisker department there is plenty of real good players sporting great beards.

The Beards Of the LA Dodgers will be ranked from the popular lists you’ve been seeing from savvy beard-loving baseball reporters and commentators. I’ll go small to large.

Josh Reddick, ‘The Chin Strap’. Reddick is one who went creative and from the looks of it his creativity believes the look had a fighting chance. His confidence is great, no question... but it needs work.

Chris Taylor, ‘The Close Crop Full Beard’. What beard-wise sports writers call the ‘standard Dodgers’ Beard is neat in appearance, and Taylor’s winning smile adds extra points for making this close to the face presentation workable. I have a little voice wanting to do the ‘grow it out’ mantra Chris... go long!

Clayton Kershaw, ‘The Trimmed Bush Beard’. Doing the long hair and beard thing is a big plus in my thinking; not many guys can pull it off - and fewer can do it if one set of hair is longer than the other. Kershaw’s pitching perfection is equally matched by facial expressions that make the whiskers alive. Despite the lack of good moustache formation, his dense goatee and sideburns are evidence enough that the beard has everything going well. But we who are follicle challenged always dream about the walrus moustache to compliment the thicker lower grown hairs. DNA has its drawbacks.

Kenley Jansen, ‘Beard Bomb & Dreadlocks”. This look can’t be ignored. It’s shaggy, yet sculpted—hair and whiskers get to go wild but to a point. If this were a personality, it would have the spirit of high adventure minus the casualties. It works great with a guy who engages well with others, and that gets photographed quite often.

Justin Turner, ‘The Lion’s Mane’. Majestic, bushy, a bit wild and ruddy, this beard’s as winning as Turner is at playing the game. A stand-out beard that equals a longer hairstyle that rocks a all-out great appearance. If he had to tame it for some reason (and it would have to be of the highest priority), he could do neat without a snip. The most durable of facial hair are found on guys like these... wish it could be purchased anywhere so the rest of us can take on its ease, strong manly style and healthy stamina.

Josh Fields, ‘Fast and Furrious’. Articles have been written about the correlation between lightning-speed pitchers and their stealth crop of facial hair. Josh, like others who can dazzle with the pitch, has the whisker equivalent of a home run. Strong appearance, confident and decidedly owned—typically not the kind of guy who stares at razors saying ‘I miss you.’

Houston had everything to win, especially when Hurricane Harvey had the first swing and a powerful punch that left a sizable chunk of Texas real estate under water, swept down river out to the Gulf, or ripped apart and scattered to the point of unrecognizable. The storm was probably the greatest rallying behind the Astros they have ever garnered, simply because we as Americans tend to cheer on the challenger with the greatest challenges. They are a team that does not have a follicle challenge, so they were great representatives of real men playing their hearts out with beard power.

The Astro Beards get their day to shine here, and much like LA, they came in various similar styles and size.

George Springer, ‘The Chin Strap’. Classic look for Houston; beard enough but too ‘set’ to be taken as a keeper. George, the beard voices are whispering in your ears, too.

Marvin Gonzalez, ‘The Full Strap’. It’s the full on whiskered strap look. Strap beards are always tailored to half the usual width of normally free-range whiskers. However this looks like the #3 guard on the trimmer... neat, but not very impressive. Marvin... the whispers... listen!

Dallas Keuchel, ‘Sculpted Shag’. There is no doubt this beard can do stealth, and the wiry dense whisker growth is spectacular. He’s into it, but just enough to let the mane have a power presence without being overpowered by ‘overgrown bush’. Some guys with dense hairs can find themselves swallowed up in such hairy situations. Of course, it looks great here, but I believe if he has let the whiskers take up more real estate he would have a chiseled, defined look that would have magazines calling and photographers demanding time with him. Some bushes need to sprawl, and Keuchel’s is just a little too tidy.

Evan Gattis, ‘Bald and Bushy’. Might be something in the water (pre-Harvey) or with guys named Evan (my niece had been engaged to a big guy like this with a great set of whiskers not that long ago). Description I give is that a beard exploded and the hair took such a shock it fell off the head. It’s Evan’s Look, it rocks, exudes great manly muscle and power while his personality says ‘buddy’.

My Ultimate Picks: Justin Turner’s Lion’s Mane for LA and Evan Gattis’ Bald and Bushy for the Astros—two competitors who took their beard love to the place where Baseball’s 2017 Beard Lineup is champion among a hairy sea of men who this year let the whiskers dominate. Some say it was the hairiest year since the 70s... I remember those days; this is way better.